Buildconfidence101's Blog

How To Project Confidence (Even If Your Not!) October 27, 2009

Walk tall, stand proud, keep your chin up. These are just a few of the popular sayings people use to encourage someone to make the right impression. What these sayings show is how important our demeanor and non verbal communication is in communicating who we are too the world. If you are rich or posh enough your family may have enrolled you on elocution lessons as a kid, which would have taught you how to carry yourself with class and confidence to those around you. However, I imagine that the majority of you reading did (like me) not get the benefits of lessons in etiquette. Of course you do not have to speak like Prince Charles to convey confidence to the world but body language and tone of voice is important and here is why.

It has been said that first impressions count and there is a lot of truth behind this. You might be interested to know that within just 5 seconds of meeting someone we form a judgment that affects our behavior. It certainly is not easy getting noticed in our busy over crowded modern worlds. With an ever increasingly competitive job market making the right impression can make or break your chances of having a successful interview or conducting a business deal.

If you want proof of this just watch an episode of Shark Tank(Dragons Den in the UK) and see how the most successful entrants are the ones who can put on a polished performance. This is because as well as having an attractive product they also appear to be the sort of person that an investor wants to do business with. To be a success in life we need to learn how to sell ourselves.

So where to start well first of all lets look at what not to do. First of all confidence is a form of strength which is why it is so attractive to people. With that in mind you should try to conduct your behavior in a way that avoids you looking shy or weak. Examples of this type of body language include. Hanging your head and slumping your shoulders forward, avoiding eye contact. These kinds of actions give the impression that you do not believe in yourself. Now imagine you are going for a job interview bearing in mind what we mentioned earlier about the need to sell yourself. It does not take a genius to work out that you can’t expect people to believe in you as a ‘investment’ if the investment does not believe in itself. Likewise in your personal life people pick up on signals straight away. So what should you be thinking of doing then?

Well keeping your head held high is always a confident gesture as is standing with your shoulders thrust back. Perhaps the most important of all is eye contact. Maintaining eye contact when speaking and listening creates a sense of intimacy purpose and honesty between yourself and the other person. Indeed one recent study asked a group of investors what they looked for in a successful pitch. Ranked among the most looked for things was you guessed it eye contact.

In your day to day life it is important to maintain your air of confidence at all times so that it becomes a natural aspect of your personality. This applies in all situations including stressful ones. It is said that you see the measure of someone when their back is to the wall and I personally agree with that statement 100%. In stressful situations some people begin to panic and choose to engage in activities such as blaming others and finger pointing; rather than looking for a solution to the problem in a rational and composed way. Indeed if you want to be a respected and effective leader then the way you deal with stress is what will decide whether you are cut out for it. By choosing he former over the latter you are displaying weakness and a lack of confidence. By making a conscious effort to remain calm under pressure then you are far more likely to project the right vibes to others.

Even if your outward appearance is not a true reflection of what is going on inside, you will still communicate the right signals to inspire those around you. That is the amazing thing about confident body language. With a simple gesture you can inspire confidence and admiration in those around you.

Neil Howard has put together a complimentary video showing you step-by-step how to improve your confidence by overcoming negative thinking patterns. To download it instantly please visit http://www.buildconfidence101.com/

What Is Confidence? October 26, 2009

Confidence is a word that we hear a lot of these days. Success in work and in our personal lives is said to stem from it. Indeed there are very few situations in life where a lack of confidence is considered to be an advantage. It is through confidence that we manage to assert ourselves in the world. You might find it strange then to know that such a crucial part of our personalities has had very little in research made into it. If you stop and think about it a second – if we are to develop an understanding about what makes us tick then knowing about the things that affect our confidence is pretty important.

The world you live in is obviously going to be a major contributor to your level of confidence. Of course in our modern fast paced world there are many factors involved in our confidence levels. Anyone who tells you that they are ‘their own person’ is not being strictly true. Truth is that we react to the world around us according to the belief we have in ourselves. Our self belief comes through the gaining of knowledge.

Think of your first day in a new job for instance, to begin with you were likely to be hesitant , unsure , looking for confirmation from others that you are doing the right thing. Fast forward 6 months later and think of the difference in outlook and attitude. You have grown into the role, you are more assertive because you have gained the necessary knowledge to complete your tasks according to a set standard. In short, you have become more confident because you believe in your ability to get the job done. Now you might think confidence gained in one area of your life can not be applied to all areas. This is a common misconception because it fails to grasp the principle of gaining confidence.

Lets think about where confidence comes from. Like most of our personality – confidence seems to stem from our biological make up and our experiences in childhood. In the same way some kids seem to be born to be top golfers or footballers . Others are naturally pre disposed to being confident out going people. Yet there are also many many things that impact on us as kids when we grow up.

Our Parents are a major contributor towards us acquiring confidence. Good parenting should be about teaching their child how to explore their own individual potential. Unfortunately, some parents do quite the opposite – perhaps with the same good intentions but often with disastrous consequences for the child’s future development. For instance, rather than examining their childs potential they instead seize upon their limitations. By directly focusing on these negative aspects to the extent that they over shadow everything else the child can grow up with little self belief and confidence. Another key contributor to our personalities and levels of confidence is our experiences in school. So many people who have an unhappy childhood do so due to their experiences in the play ground and the classroom. Being accepted by our peers can make or break our confidence levels.

Then of course there is the role of the mass media and advertising. However, in this case we are dealing with something a little different to what we have discussed before. Let’s face it we as a society are addicted to buying stuff it is in our nature. Yet why do we buy? More often than not it is to make up for shortcomings we feel we have in our selves. For decades, marketing folk have been aware of the power of placing a brand with the idea that it will instill confidence. The fact is that this is not selling confidence but exploiting a lack of it. A distinction we should all remember the next time we are out shopping!

These are just some of the ways confidence and our ideas of confidence are formed. If you are not a very confident person then perhaps you have seem some things in common between your own upbringing and some of the examples we have looked at. Examining the how and the why you are not confident will put you on the first step you need to take in order begin tackling it rather than just accepting it as ‘part of who you are’. After all you cannot see where you are going in a dark room unless you put the light on first!.

Neil Howard has put together a complimentary video showing you step-by-step how to improve your confidence by overcoming negative thinking patterns. To download it instantly please visit http://www.buildconfidence101.com/

Five Tips To Increase Self Esteem October 26, 2009

At some point or another during your life you may question how you can improve your self-esteem. It does not matter if you are actively chasing this goal or not, you will be able to benefit from an increase in self-esteem. The problem with trying to improve your self-esteem is that it is an invisible force with no way to accurately measure it.

Since you, along with most other people, probably do not know how to improve your self-esteem, I have put together a few tips to help you make a start right away.

One Thing at a Time

In order to build your self-esteem you will need to discover what exactly it is that you wish to improve. Once you decide exactly what ‘IT’ is focus on that. Trying to change too many things at once will usually result in one great big mess. It is best to change one thing at a time and always complete it before moving onto the next.

Celebrate your Journey

This is where a lot of people make a crucial mistake. Focusing on your destination is good in a sense, but one should always celebrate their journey to the destination. Learning to feel good about where you are now is crucial to improving your self-esteem. Try not to think about where you will be tomorrow.

Set Clear and Realistic Goals

Before performing actions you will need to have some sort of a plan. Know what you want and set clear and realistic goals that you can achieve. Achieving your goals will only serve to increase you confidence. Apply this regularly and you will soon see amazing improvements.

Ask for Help

If you need it, ask for help. This is the number one thing that people will not do. It doesn’t seem to matter how much they need it either. Asking for help is often considered an act of weakness, but this is far from the truth. Seeking help is a noble activity and only the strongest of people are able to do it. Letting people know that you are trying to improve your self-esteem is a great way to do so. Most people will be very supportive and encourage you along your journey.

Believe that you can do it

When you wake up in the morning, tell yourself that you can do it. Ignore the little voice in your head saying that you can’t. Improve your self-belief and your self-esteem will naturally rise with it. Don’t let anyone tell you that you are unworthy because this is untrue.

Remember these tips and you will be well on your way to improving your self-esteem. The more that you practice each of the steps above, the better you will get and in time your self-esteem will never be an issue again. Unfortunately there far too many people out there with low self-esteem and I hope that this article has helped you.

Neil Howard has put together a complimentary video showing you step-by-step how to improve your self esteem by overcoming negative thinking patterns. To download it instantly please visit http://www.buildconfidence101.com/

The Benefits of High Self-Esteem October 25, 2009

There are many different benefits associated with having high self-esteem. Self-esteem is basically how you feel about yourself and how much you value, respect and love the person that you are. When you have high self-esteem it will become very easy to take pride in your abilities and recognize your accomplishments.

It is very important to maintain self-esteem in order to get by more effectively in today’s society. Below I will elaborate a little more on some of the benefits of having high self-esteem.

Learning from Your Mistakes

People with high self-esteem generally have a really good knack for learning from their mistakes. Just like everyone else, even people who have high self-esteem will make mistakes from time to time. However, unlike people with low self-esteem who put themselves down after making a mistake, those with high self-esteem take note of the mistake they made and attempt to better themselves so that they do not make the same mistake again. The ability to do this reaps benefits in many different aspects of life.

Accepting Responsibility

Another fantastic benefit of having high self-esteem is the ability to accept responsibility for your actions and the position that you are in in your life. Generally, people with low self-esteem will blame others rather than themselves. The difference here is that those with high self-esteem realize that they are responsible for their own actions and are willing to accept the consequences. The ability to accept responsibility without blaming others is a great ability to have.

Confidence to Assert Yourself

This is a great benefit which helps you to make things happen whether it is in your personal life, career or maybe even your family life. Those with good self-esteem are not afraid to assert themselves and are not generally intimidated by assertive behavior in others. This helps people to have their voice heard and stand up for their beliefs. Assertive behavior is different from aggressive behavior Someone who is assertive will generally try to seek a win-win result, as were an aggressive person will often seek a win-lose result.

Focus on the Positive

More times than not, people with high self-esteem will focus on the positive aspects of life rather than the negative. In fact, this is one of the main players in keeping their self-esteem high. Others who have little self-esteem generally have a bad habit of finding the worst in every situation. This is different to people with high self-esteem who generally have an amazing ability to focus only on the positive issues. For example, if you crash your car, it is best to focus on the fact that you are alright rather than the fact that the car is not.

Liking Yourself

By far the greatest benefit of high self-esteem is liking who and what you are. Those were of low self-esteem will generally find many aspects of themselves that they do not like. This is not the case for people with high self-esteem. Such people will look into the mirror and only see what they like. Rather than taking note of the things that they don’t like about themselves, they will take note of the things they do like and then improve on them.

Although the text above has only outlined some of the benefits associated with high self-esteem there are many, many others to be had. If you already have high self-esteem you properly recognize some of these benefits. If not, remember that it is never too late to improve the way you feel about yourself.

Neil Howard has put together a complimentary video showing you step-by-step how to improve your self esteem by overcoming negative thinking patterns. To download it instantly please visit http://www.buildconfidence101.com/

Three Easy Steps To Improve Self Esteem Quickly October 22, 2009

Your self-image is not only thing that can be affected by low self-esteem. Relationships with friends and family members can become increasingly difficult to maintain for someone with low self esteem. On top of this, low self-esteem can also increase stress, anxiety and loneliness. In the longer term, low self-esteem can lead to depression. Even worse, poor self-esteem often leads to substance abuse and other addictions.

Many people also get caught in a dangerous cycle. As the negative impacts of low self-esteem surface, the worse a person is likely to feel. This can in turn be the beginning of a downward spiral. If this is not corrected quickly it may lead to depression and self destructive behavior.

If you’re made the conscious decision to improve your poor self-esteem and truly believe that you can, there are a few important steps that you can use to help improve your self-esteem.

Silence the Negative Voice This is perhaps the most critical step in improving your self-esteem. Most people have a negative voice inside their head that constantly reminds them of their mistakes and shortcomings. Silencing this voice is an important step in fostering a positive self-image. Although this may seem difficult at first, you will shortly get the hang of it and begin feeling much better about yourself. When your negative voice begins to remind you about all of your mistakes, try to tell yourself a number of positive things. For example, something positive could be something you learned from your mistakes. Doing this whenever your negative voice makes itself heard, will soon see your negative voice fading into the background.

Believe That You Are Worth It This is another important step in overcoming low self-esteem. It is crucial that you treat yourself as a competent and worthwhile person. Often, the way people have treated us in the past will affect our self-esteem. Believing that you deserve better is a great way to combat low self-esteem. The first thing that you should do is take care of yourself. Make sure that you are eating enough and getting enough sleep. Also, working out can be a big help. Make sure you have time out for fun. Always remember to take time out of your busy schedule and do something that you really enjoy. You do not always have to be switched ‘on’. When you achieve something, be sure to reward yourself. This will help you to believe that the effort you put in is paying off.

Learn to Ask for Help It is very unfortunate that many people who suffer from low self-esteem are afraid to ask for help. A lot of people have trouble asking for help when they need it. Letting people know that you are struggling with low self-esteem is one of the most important steps to overcoming it. Most people will probably have some truly wonderful things to say about you. Always remember that asking for help is a sign of strength and not one of weakness.

In closing, I would just like to remind you that overcoming low self-esteem is possible and that you can do it. Simply by using these three steps you could quickly see a more confident person staring back in the mirror.

I have put together a complimentary video showing you step-by-step how to improve your self esteem by overcoming negative thinking patterns. To download it instantly please visit BuildConfidence101.com